So I decided to put it in two parts instead. Here is the part that I watched on NTA itself

10:36. There will be no more making fun of the graphics cos they were from Channels who was rebroadcasting a feed from NTA. I guess NTA gipped then cos the NTA2 show has color.

10:37 How clever, the ladies in white just formed a Nigerian flag, as the thirds on the ends changed their clothers.

10:38. We bring u the inauguration sponsored by Globacom… Rule Your World

10:39. The commentator is going into an orgy of self glorification of Nigeria again. We are on the rise, we are great… We are now told the three-arms zone is strategic in Nigeria’s plan. A cookie to whoever knows why it is called the three arms zone.

10:40. We bring u the inauguration sponsored by Globacom… Rule Your World

10:41. We bring u the inauguration sponsored by Globacom… Rule Your World

10:41. The kids are doing interesting things with hula hoops

10:41. We bring u the inauguration sponsored by Globacom… Rule Your World

10:42. Clearly Big Mike is leaving nothing to chance.

10:42 We bring u the inauguration sponsored by Indomie Noodles … Super Taste Super You

10:43 Indomie actually got a hint of a proper ad in there. They did it again. They are now playing “one love.” The camera man figured out that if you pan from left to right, it is easier to show the writing. They formed the word “UNITY.” The only problem is that the spelling gave the commentator the right to speak. He entered another orgy of self congratulation. After they spelt “Peace” he said and I quote that “Nigeria is very peaceful, Nigerians will do anything to ensure that there is peace in our country. Peace in our homes, Peace in our hearts, Peace in our lives”

10:46. Spelling of two words gave the cameraman a few difficulties. But he managed to show that it spelt “Democracy Forever.” The commentator took this opportunity to show us that this is the dream of all Nigerians, and that we are Africa’s biggest democracy. Yay!

10:47. We bring u the inauguration sponsored by Indomie Noodles … Super Taste Super You

10:47. A shot of Yar’Adua and OBJ that led to the commentator informing us that they were great men.

10:49. Yar ‘Adua just hugged the President of Burkina Faso. Finally someone who realized where his bread is going to be buttered from now on.

10:50. God Bless Nigeria indeed, but you would think that from the commentary, we are so successful that all God needs to do is smile at us.

10:51. Another shot of the past presidents. They have moved them, though Abubakar probably wished they didn’t cos then he wouldn’t have been captured chewing gum.

10:52. Now the children are done, singing “Congratulations Yar ‘Adua as they leave”

10:53. Mbeki is reading the paper, while some freaky gymnast kid is doing his thing. He wouldn’t want to miss this. Though the commentator managed to link this gymnast to the Nigerian child who represents the giant of Africa.

10:55 The police outriders are late, and so we get to welcome the Vice President of Algeria. Now they’ve shown up, and they are in all white. They look like stunt riders from the movies with the bowl helmets and everything. They will apparently be doing acrobatic things, but they are delaying and it is getting annoying. Yar ‘Adua is not impressed with the display, he looks like he’s seen better late night on ESPN in his Katsina villa.

10:59. “Nigerian’s have seen okada riders do all sorts, but this is taking it to the limit” This is a direct quote from our dear commentator.

11.00. The CJ is looking even more murderous. The police guys are growing on me, Especially how they keep saluting.

11.01. Jonathan is boning, but he is not pulling it off as well as his boss it. Probably can’t hide his excitement, or his worry. Every time he leaves the Niger Delta something seems to happen to one of his houses.

11.03. The policeman show is over, but it was pretty cool. The president of Togo wants them to perform for him.

11.04. OBJ has moved down to a central dais, maybe it is finally showtime. The marshal of the parade calls three cheers for the man himself. The national anthem is sung. According to the commentator, the anthem singing marks the end of an era. So that means it is showtime. Finally.

11.08. distinguished ladies and gentlemen, he has done it before and he has done it again. Any history that doesn’t not mention obj does not do it justice cos it will not be complete,… something about he is a great man. The swearing in of the vice president and the president of Nigeria. Archbishop Akinola and the Chief Iman are called. I hope Akinola doesn’t spot any gay people cos otherwise it’ll be on.

11.10. The prez of Cameroon is given a shout out.

11.11. Akinola is not wearing his vestments, as he prays. (Actually that is not Akinola, it’s the chairman of CAN Abuja) Talk about a slap in the face of the president elect, and the president. Though he was kind enough to mention the “Forward Ever Backward Never” campaign slogan of the incoming team in his prayer.

11.12. The Chief Iman is praying… in Arabic. I just think it is unnecessarily exclusionary. It could be a great invocation, but only the muslims in the crowd would know. Nary even a translator in sight.

11.15. Finally the CJ gets his action. Nnamani takes off his shades for this one. OBJ looks so forlorn. As they keep saying he did it once, he can do it again.

11.16. Yar ‘Adua is finally smiling. Hmm. I wonder why.

11.17. Goodluck is being sworn in as the Vice President of Nigeria. It’s official Atiku’s immunity is now over. For some reason he is swearing it again. So maybe Atiku has a little more time to bail.

11.21. It was just a pre-oath before. Goodluck Jonathan is now the vice president after a long oath that involved several things that were good and laudable. I hope he keeps them.

11.22. The swearing in of Yar ‘Adua is beginning, he’s back to looking like he always does. OBJ is studiously looking in the other direction as Yar ‘Adua is sworn in.

11.27 It’s official at 11.27 May 29, 2007 Nigeria has a new President and he looks like he always does.

11.29. Yar ‘Adua hugs former president Olusegun Obasanjo. They keep showing Yar ‘Adua’s wife. I wonder if her husband taught her the look or she taught him.

11.30. Aiight I’m sure there will be more festivities. But I’m done with the report. I’ll see you in four, sorry, eight years. This is naij after all. Laters.

So Yesterday I did a running commentary blog on the second hour of the inaguration of President Musa Yar 'Adua. It's kinda long, cos it covers an hour of stuff, and so I am going to split it into 3 parts. Enjoy.

The Channels Experience:

10:00 Obasanjo is riding around in an open armored car waving to people, I came in at the tail end of this cos it is practically over. The fawning words of the NTA announcer as the soon to be ex president rides around once again proves that NTA is probably censored.

10:04 The march past is starting, and they are telling us about the commanders of the march past. One of them enjoys reading and football. Cool! They go in more detail about the history of the commanders and I didn’t think you would be interested in the battalions they got posted to fresh from boot.

10:07 The helpful announcer informs the guests that they are to rise (or salute if they are serving soldiers) in respect for the colors (of the regiments I think, anyone know?). Thanks to the NTA thinking that we are still in the 1960’s we can’t even see the colors. I’m serious the picture is black and white. It’s two thousand and frickin seven!

10:12 Shot of Mbeki talking to someone I couldn’t place. He looks like he is having fun, unlike
the next group of people they just showed. I guess the camera man hasn’t yet learned that you only show happy people in a celebration. And they are still going on about the degrees of the various military peeps. You will be pleased to know that we have a very diversely educated military officer corps.

10:15 I guess someone got a hold of the camera man, cos he got a good crowd reaction shot.

10:16 Quick march, yay! I wonder how they kept those horses that white with all the dust in Abuja. I am also wondering if Peugeot is sponsoring the event cos they keep showing Peugeots of all shapes and sizes (I would say colors but remember black and white) seriously there are like six models of the damn cars. One of the officers graduated from a Ghanaian university, it’s safe to assume that that may hurt his career going forward.

10:18 NTA is so helpfully telling us that this is the second time that Obasanjo will hand-over to a democratically elected government. Yet another shot of OBJ but none yet of the “man of the hour”. In case you were still wondering, this is a celebration of the last 8 years. Yar ‘Adua is just a side note. I can’t believe it took me 18 minutes to figure this out.

10:20 They are doing the fancy turns now. It’s not as easy at it looks, going by the way people kept messing it u in camp.

10:21 They just showed the chief judge, and Yar’adua makes his first appearance as well. The CJ looks bored, and Yar ‘Adua looks like he always does.

10:22. NTA helpfully informs us that OBJ is handing over without his vice-president, who elected to stay away from the inauguration. Funny that! I hope the guy doing the text has a sense of irony otherwise...

10:24. They are doing the Naija think of thanking people. Now they are thanking the presidents that came. They mentioned four of them. SA, Benin, Chad and some other guy. They also then thank OBJ. Who goes over and kisses the presidents who are sitting behind Yar’Adua. Yar ‘Adua looks like he always does. There are children doing calistenics soon.

10:26 The CJ looks like he might be going postal later. OBJ is going round greeting everybody. He’s reached the former head of states. They are kinda distant. Though IBB was not in the mix. It was Shonekan, Abubakar, Shagari and Gowon. It now looks like OBJ is trying to get them out of the cheap seats, and someone decided that wouldn’t make good tv and so they are showing calisthenics now (this cameraman needs to have a good sit down with someone who knows what makes good tv!)

10:30 NTA is patting themselves on the back for their presentation of the event. And they also threw in a plug for NICOMSAT-1 cos that is how the showing is being beamed all over the world.

10:31 OBJ is finally back in his seat, he is gisting with Yar ‘Adua. Yar ‘Adua looks like he always does. The children (or women) are dancing… in white… with handkerchiefs. I’m sure it was a good idea at the time.

10:33 They are spelling something, but NTA does not have the coverage to go high enough to show what they are spelling in one shot. It is somewhat amusing as they try to figure out how to do it. NTA is now informing us about the origins of democracy day.

10:35 We bring u the inauguration sponsored by Indomie Noodles… Super Taste Super You.

Part 2 comes tomorrow

Intro
Today is the end of an era. The last day before the transition we have all being hoping and fearing. I know all my readers have been waiting for this moment. Without further ado... Welcome to the last edition of Sunday Corper.

The Day The Stand Came Down (Day 22)
Today is the last day of camp. The title refers to the fact that the guiness stand came down today. I know 'cause I was there. They took most of the damn thing down around us. I'm getting ahead of myself. So i getwoken up by my helpful roommates at like 3:30 in the morning. The reason: I had to return my matress so I could get cleared. No pink slip no posting letter. So I stroll down, the bloody thing takes 3 minutes so I'm up & not quite tired enough to sleep on metal bed springs like some of my roommates. Fast farward about five hours to when the parade was about to start. Nothing happening. Spent my time taking pictures and watching the karate or taekwando team (not sure which) practice for their demonstration. Sometime in the midst of all this boredom me and a few of my friends drift down to the guinness stand. We left just after the parade was over and just in time to beging the fight for our posting letters. It was better organized in that the lines were shorter, but some lines were mislabelled including mine so that bit was fun. Oh and surprise surprise they posted me somewhere different. Now I have to go into reposting hell as I have to get my first choice.

I hope I was able to give a sense of a camp that was equal parts fun and frustration. It was an experience that cannot be replicated. Each camp experience will probably be its own unique blend and if you are going to serve you shouldn't miss it for all the allowi in Naij

Unnecessary Qualification
So here ends Corper. I hope y'all enjoyed this stroll down NYSC lane. Mona I'm sure you'll forgive me someday :-). Laters y'all.

P.S. I've been incognito this last week cos I came down with a pretty bad case of food poisoning on Wednesday. You may now feel free to leave appropriate comments of commiseration, the more flowery the better. Things of the nature of "life was not worth living without you in blogville. Please never leave again..." you know. Honesty is key here. Aiight I'm really done.

I suppose a cursory reading of this blog would easily prove that I am not a social conservative. However even if I don't agree with them (and I rarely ever do) at least I tend to understand where they are coming from. However with the latest controversy going on, I am wondering if I ever got them at all.

So there is a vaccine for the human papillomavirus (HPV). The virus causes over 70% of the cervical cancers in women and 90% of genital warts (this statistic is for the US, I think). The vaccine is supposed to be administered to girls between the ages of 10-12 (and maybe boys too). It's a no-brainer right, here is a drug that apprarently reduces the risk of contracting a virus that causes cancer, parents will be beating down the doors of the pharmacy. Right!

WRONG

See HPV is sexually transmitted, and apparently social conservatives are against the idea of vaccinating against a disease that can only be transmitted sexually. Actually to be fair, they are against being required to vaccinate their kids. After all their kids will never have sex before marriage and so clearly they don't need the vaccine. They are also against a vaccine for one of the few STIs that is not stopped by a condom. They think that this vaccine is going to make people have more premarital sex (of the consensual variety).

Here is the thing, they are probably right. The fact that there is a vaccine that removes one of the dangers of sex could result in more sex. So what? Are you going to sit there and tell me that eliminating 70% of the cervical cancers in women and getting rid of a particularly pernicious STI is not worth the possibility of more people deciding to have sex before marriage?

Apparently to a social conservative the answer to that question is NO

That is why I don't get them sometimes.

Intro
Welcome to the penultimate edition of Sunday Corper. I must admit that it is one of the better (if not best) entries in this series. It is just a story about an event that happend on the 21st day of my stay in camp.

The Story Of The Girl With The Clean Shorts (Day 21)
I'm going to tell this story 'cause if I didn't I'll be guilty of unnecessary censorship. As you know I've bitched 'bout the DMT enough times but on this fateful morning I would have given anything for that glorified hole in the ground. The story opens with me walking to the DMT to drop my once every two-day deposit. To my horror the DMT was closed. So ignoring the light rain, I proceeded down the path past the guiness stand and into the bush. While I was there there was a young lady also attending to her business. As is customary in these situations (no one has to tell you, you justknow) we politely ignored each other and focused. We finished at around the same time and in keeping with our silent agreement I was going on my way when I heard a clear voice ring out "are my shorts clean?" she asked. I gave her shorts a cursory glance hoping to God that her aim was better than she thought it was. It was and I told her so. She was quite attractive but I think the fact that she had to ask the question she did kinda knocked any possible conversation out of the park. I know having to answer that question did it for me. Since we're being all honest and open I have to say that that dump was the best one I'd had since I'd been in camp. I'm glad it was my last one in camp 'cause it's hard to see myself going back to the DMT after that.

Unnecessary Qualification
I don't really have anything to say about this post, cos it kinda says it all. However I will note that the one in two system was employed by quite a number of people at camp. Though I did know this one girl that was gangsta with her imodium. She went home once a week and let loose then. Scary men. Anyway stay tuned for next weeks slightly anti-climatic conclusion to the corper series. Laters.

Rather than wax poetic about something or the other, I decided to ask a few questions to find out what y'all think. (Having a ton of work piled on my arse while also trying to meet this commitment isn't the reason, honest!!!)

1) What do you think the next three high growth sectors are in Nigeria (after financial services, oil & gas and telecoms)?

2) If you were put in charge of the Niger Delta, what is the first thing you would do?

3) What are the three most pressing problems facing Nigeria (besides power & roads)?

4) If you were to ammend the constitution only once, would you change the immunity clause or the land use provisions?

5) When do you think the first issue based presidential and gubernatorial elections will hold in Nigeria?

Someone somewhere will be pleased to note that the Federal Executive Council has banned the payment of unauthorised salaries to civil servants in three agencies. The agencies: the National Communications Commission (NCC), NNPC, and CBN. Apparently this was in the interest of fairness as these salaries were creating a huge gap in the renumeration of public officials. It should be plain to all that actual skill required to perfom a job, or the neccessary renumeration required to attract certain skills, must not be taken into account when determining pay for government officials. If there is a mass exodus of personnel from these agencies to their private sector counterparts, at least we can take comfort in the fact that we as a nation are being fair to our civil servants. Now that the current government is leaving in just under two weeks handicaping the three agencies that regulate the sectors that are most responsible for Nigeria's economic growth in the name of fairness makes sense. After all it's Nigeria and allowing your hand-picked successor to benefit from the same advantages you did doesn't fly around these parts.

I have decided to embrace brevity in my posts. No longer shall you be forced to read tomes in cursive when you stumble upon my blog. In order to keep this promise, I am now going to stick to one theme per post. If I have more than one idea, then it shall be in more than one post. If this means that I end up like Uzo or Olawunmi posting 3/4 times a day then so be it.

Anyway so there were a few competing ideas sloshing around in what passes for my brain; I knocked it down to two. One was a semi-rant cos some insurance industry guy said that the industry needed more government help, and the other was a measured rant on the election of a Zimbabwean (sp check) official to chair the UN Commission on Sustainable Development. Talk about giving the rest of the world the finger. In the long run I decided not to talk about either of these cos I decided to spare you (you can thank the nice man later).

Instead I am going to tell you about the two times I almost got lynched in the cinema and I didn't even shout FIRE once. So the first time was when I went to see Titanic. So I sit through this mildly interesting movie about a love story on a ship and then it hits the iceberg. We get to see some amazing special effects with a lot of destruction going on. And then all of a sudden we get an interlude with these four guys in monkey suits playing instruments. Then that line about "it was an honor playing with you" comes on and then they all start playing again. I couldn't help it, i burst out laughing. If you see the looks I got, men. Apparently this was one of the prime crying moments of the film, and here I was laughing like it was a Jim Carrey movie.

The second time also involved inappropriate laughter, this time the movie was passion of the Christ. I know you are all in shock that some one could laugh at the passion, and so were the people I went to see that movie with in Atlanta. It wasn't my fault though as I will show. So the movie was going good, apart from the eye rolling incident they put in to deflect anti-semitism claims. Jesus is taken to the whipping post and the beating is pretty brutal. However it turned comic for me when they showed the whip pull out the flesh, just above the eye. That scene was filmed like a Michael Bay action sequence, all slow motion all the time. I kind of upset actually it stopped my supsension of disbelief. Anyway since I was older and wiser than when I saw Titanic, I was able to control my laughter a lot quicker, though not quickly enough to prevent my getting handed a tract. Apparently only sinners laugh at the passion in Georgia.

Aiight I'm done and in good length

"The problem with the Nigerian Banks is that everyone wants to be Citigroup and no one wants to be Goldman."

If you had an opinion about the quote above, then you probably work in the financial services industry. If you couldn't care less, then you probably don't.

That little thought experiment proves that what I'm going to do is probably a mistake (oh and it also proves that people who don't work in finance really don't care about it unless they are trying to switch careers)

One other thing about finance people is that they can't help but talk about it.

Q: What do you get when you cross Nigerians with confidential information?

A: A whole lot of insider trading

I tend to say that if you are not doing insider trading in the Nigerian stock market then you are not trying. The other way to say this is that if you don't know anybody who works in financial services, you are better off investing in one of the mutual funds that are currently on offer. Or you could try and get in on the whole Nospecto thing (no matter how many times it is explained to me, I still think those guys are bunkering).

Anyway the Nigerian stock market is taking a pause as people start profit taking in order to take advantage of the First Bank offer. Only a Nigerian firm will have set up a website advertising its public offer with this address: www.naijabigoffer.com. I'll do a proper analysis of the offer next week. Though it is looking like a no-brainer. However if I was an existing shareholder I would prefer for them to issue debt.

Aiight so don't go and spend all your disposable income for the year on this one cos once you're probably going to want some dough to splurge on Obajana Cement the next big IPO that's coming to the market. People are saying late Q3 '07 or Q4 '08. However it's existence could depress the other cement stocks so if you've already made a killing on those then you might want to consider profit taking.

Now if you are still awake by this point, I must tell you that this new descent into finance is really not about stock picking.

In closing, I must say that I applaud the government's decision not to accede to the Asian companies request to be given right of first refusal on producing oil blocks. We can't have these foreign companies come here and possibly take away oil blocks that have been assigned to special interests domestic oil producers. Losing the $11 billion of direct investment in the nation is a small price to pay in order to be fair to indigenous oil companies. We will not be held hostage by the need for refineries, railways, fertilizer plants and power plants. The fact that these companies need oil blocks with some guaranteed revenue in order to make enough money to justify doing these things is immaterial.

Here are the Business Day quotes of Edmund Dakoru the Minister of Energy.

On the Asian Companies
"The investment is ordinarily not commercial and you would not consider running the railway for commercial purpose or building a gas pipelne in the north a fee paying investment or the building of the power project in Mambila plateau a fee paying investment. Somebody must do these things and this is the way we know we have to get it done,"

If you are asking people to make a non-financial decision, you have to give them incentives to do it, otherwise they don't. But wait what about the guys who are currently on ground, surely they will be willing to invest.

On the Current Investors (indirect quote)
"opportunities have been given to investors already on ground to take interest in the career development agenda of the government but they refused"

Well I'm still waiting to hear what happens to all that now delayed investment.

P.S. If you read the business day and the this day coverage of the oil block story you'll know why Jeremy is always close to tearing his hair out about Nigerian newspapers. The This Day story is a disgrace. The most critical piece of information about the oil round is missing. Though I suppose they drew a nice table.

Intro
Aiight corper is back after a week off, and it is not suitable for people who don't get irony.

Sunday Sunday (Day 20)
Nothing particularly stuck out on this Sunday. I mean I woke up felt ill went back to bed until two and the rest of the daywas pretty low key. So I'm going to talk about something that I've alluded to but not really focused on; how to get a girl in camp. Now there are two main ways though most people use a combination. The first is game, basically chat a girl up or toast her relying on your wit and your charm. The second way is by your wallet. Basically take her to mammy and buy her all the turkey, suya, and chicken & chips you can eat. Now the other thing is that you want to make your intentions known from the start. Catching feelings is a common side effect of both methods. Nothing cramps your style more than a girl who thinks she is your one and only. Just ask a couple of my friends. Now what do you do with a girl? Well you hang out in mammy, walk around with her and pick your spot on the parade ground for a quavving session. Well of course for the hardy or should I say horny, there is always behind the dining hall or the good ol bush - gold circle hopefully not optional. I suppose there is a third way; the foreign accent but the thing about this is that it only acts as a short cut. If you don't have option 1 or 2 to fall back on you might as well not even try phonee.

Unnecessary Qualification
Apparently I did not do as good a job of investigative reporting because there was unlawful carnal knowledge occuring in the uncompleted buildings opposite the main hostel. I just thought it was the staff quarters. Anyway I'ma bounce, but trust me on this you are going to want to come back next week for the next corper. Laters.

Aiight so I didn't blog this week cos everything that I wanted to blog about seemed kinda trivial after the last one. So in order to get over that I decided to be really trivial on the next post, so anything after this one will seem like Fanon (-10 cool points to anyone who gets the reference, and -100 to anyone who thought about googling). Considering what I'm planning to talk about, I think I will succeed.

So if you read or watch a lot of tv/movies/documentaries and so on, you would have come across the fact that one of the more important ways to keep mr johnson from embarassing himself in any situation is by thinking of a multiplication problem. Something like 343*17. Every guy at one point has put said theory to the test, and like me, I'm sure a lot of other guys have been satisfied customers. Now what if you are one of those guys to whom 343*17 is like 2*2. I mean what do you do? I suppose you could go up to 3473 *247, but then there are guys to whom that is like 3*3. So if you are a guy there are definitely diminishing returns to being good at math. I mean you want to be able to do 21 * 7 (cos otherwise you might be a retard) but you want to be stumped at a problem that shows u can tie your own shoelaces. If you were as smart as (insert random genius person) and by some freak of nature you were also attractive to women at some point in your life I guarantee that you will utter the words "damn I wish I wasn't so good at math."

Now that you are thinking "huh" i will continue on to something kinda random that I think deserves sharing. There is actually a place on the island that caters to the "ugly girls need love too" section of the prozzie community. I was going to Bourdillon from Glover at about 11pm (don't worry about the names if they mean nothing to you) and I decided to take Thompson, and I was like confused, "here we are in a residential district and there are women in scanty clothing lining the road." Unlike some of the ones on awolowo road, or ademola alakija, or outside saipan who are actually pretty hot, these women clearly got more than one taste of the ugly cane. You wouldn't need any math skills with these ones I promise. It's like the premiership of street prozzies is around ademola alakija, and the championship is Thompson. I wonder if there is relegation. You know a street prozzie league, and some girl who has been working ademola for a while get's told that she can't hack it anymore round here that she's going to be sent down. Now I'm also wondering if she has any loyal fans that would support her when she's down hoping that she can raise her game and regain her rightful place in the premier league.

Now that you are abusing everyone that ever told you this blog was worth reading I got a question for you. If you were a reporter on September 15th 2001 (for those of you who have short or alchohol or drug addled memories) 4 days after 9/11 and had information about a nuclear power plant so badly secured that two guys could walk in and cause a nuclear meltdown, would u do a story on it?

Told you it was random, oh and confused is back and is already looking for my trouble. She arbitrarily decided that I was her secret lover and now is complaining that I am not acting secret loverish. Though I am confused as to what secret lovers do other than look longingly at the object of their obsession as they make out with their actual lover. Where is the upside in that? Girls go all ga-ga for unrequited love (check out mona's post on it, or her random "alter ego's" post on it here) but guys just think"loser get a life." If Shakespeare wasn't writing Romeo and Julliet for women, the tragedy in that play would have been that Julliet killed herself after discovering that Romeo shacked up with some random woman when he was in exile. Aiight I'm done. It is now safe to restart your brain.

She was working late one evening, until about seven. Maybe there was a deadline looming and work had to be done, or it was political and face time was required. Still she thought to herself at this time there will be no traffic leaving V/I and I can get home in good time. She considers taking an okada to TBS and hopping on a lagbus, but she laughs at the absurdity of it. Instead she hops an okada to cms where she wants to get a danfo going to the mainland. Almost making up for the long hours was the fact that she got a bus almost immediately. There was no traffic leaving the island and it looked like she might actually get six hours of sleep that night. All of a sudden about half way down third mainland bridge the bus started to jerk, some of the other passengers rained good natured curses down on the bus driver's head as the engine petered out and the bus had to pull to the side. She had a brief moment of fear, quickly quenched, because it was about eight 'o'clock and still early for serious theiving activity. As the driver disappeared under the car to do God knows what, there was a slight rumble as a few okadas approached. She and another one of the passengers exchanged glances, resigned to being "taxed" by the area boys for the priviledge of stopping on the federal bridge. She was almost to surprised to feel fear when she say the badly maintained pistols that the boys were sporting. It was almost professional how the boys quickly divested the occupants of their phones and cash. One man was too slow for the liking of one of the boys and he was pistol whipped for his trouble. Any protest was stilled by another boy cocking his gun, and laying the muzzle right at her temple. She froze instinctively and that slight motion drew the attention of the over eager boy. "Fine girl," he said with a leer that in any other place, at any other time, would have deserved a slap. "Fine girl" He says again, his voice husky with his intentions all but written in neon. She turned and looked wildly at her fellow passengers, before looking away unable to bear what she saw in their eyes; the impotent fury of the men unable to to cross fists with bullets, and the conflicting emotiongs of the women who were glad it wasn't them and were good enough to be ashamed of that emotion. The boy pulled her out of the van, and told her harshly, "Fine girl I would hate to hurt you. Fine girl you will do as I say." The other boys looked uncomfortable, then uncomfortably eager as he took her on the hard asphalt of third mainlaind bridge at around eight 'o' clock on a monday night. Unable to help herself she burst into tears, but held herself motionless fully aware of the gun next to her neck. It was funny, it was over quickly, but three minutes can change a life, she couldn't help it she started laughing, as she was crying. She heard the hysteria in her voice, but she couldn't help it. The tears intensified, and the laughter stopped. From her prone position on the floor she saw a shadow over her and she started screaming. She could not help herself, she knew she had to be quiet, but she screamed. She did not know how long she screamed, and she did not hear them leave. However three words broke through to her. Three words filled with shame "They are gone." She was working late, she was on her way home, she was raped on third mainland bridge yesterday.

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I remember back in secondary school in the mid nineties I was at some thing and I was listening to a woman tell me basically that ideas float in the air randomly and they can be picked up by anybody. She was saying that no one has a monopoly on ideas. It's the same defense that Hollywood studios use when things like Deep Impact and Armageddon happen. Anyway the older I get the more I think she was right.

The first thing that convinced me of that was that saying that pretty much goes that you might as well be a Christian because if Christians are wrong you don't lose anything, but if Christians are right you end up in heaven (yes there are holes in it but that is not the point). Anyway I "discovered" this little gem myself before discovering that someone else thought about it first. Some french guy, I think his name is Rousseau. Anyway this started to convince me that the lady was right. Though Prachett's take on this (That God will be waiting with a big pointy stick to discipline the smart arse who thought he had a smart idea) made me feel less proud about my apparently original thought.

What actually started me thinking about this again was the first season of Heroes. Aiight so in the mid nineties I was into comic books, and I decided to indulge in a bit of fan fiction. I created a super hero team that was loosely set in the Marvel universe (I was like 13 so back off). Anyway there was a hero that could absorb peoples powers if they were standing close to him, a mechanical wizard guy, a schizophrenic hero, a telepath, someone who created bombs, and someone who could walk through stuff. So when Milo's power was revealed I told one of my friends that he will end up with the extra power that he got, cos that is what I did to my character. Though from watching the schizo girl, it is clear that I didn't really know what multiple personality disorder was.

Anyway my point is not that Tom Kring found my 12 or 13 year old manuscript and adapted it (though it would be kinda cool if he did), but that no one has a monopoly on ideas. Once people start thinking in certain ways (in this case how can i do something similar but different from what has been done before) they generally produce similar outcomes. It's why you can have scientists discover the same thing twice, without knowing of previous work (heredity).

People always say that creativity is about originality, but I never get that. Cos Shakespeare never had an original idea in his life, but what he did have was the ability to create characters that resonate. I think creativity is the ability to show something new about old stuff. Take two of the most creative movies of our times: Usual Suspects and Memento. The Ususal Suspects successfully translates the concept of the "unreliable narrator" to film, a concept that has been around for close to a century. Memento copied the "unreliable narrator" thing and said let's throw in a reverse time thing as well.

However the thing about creativity is that once someone else has the idea, it doesn't matter if you had it as well. Though since ideas are floating around out there that shouldn't be a problem. All you have to do is catch another. On that corny note, I'm out.

Mr. Okada Man, I just wanted to apologize. I know that the road belongs to you and I am merely renting it. I know that it is my job to keep my head constantly on a swivel so you can go about your business without any care for me and any of the other cars in your midst. It is my job to read your mind so that I will know when you decide to cut in front of me from my blindside because you need to be somewhere five seconds early. It is also my duty to sit in my car and look scared when I bump you by accident, so you and all your other okada men friends who own the road can surround me and threaten to “show me pepper” if I ever got out of the car to shout at you I am sorry and I humbly apologize. I am also sorry for not getting into an accident with the oncoming car or slowing down so drastically that the car behind me hits me, so I can avoid spraying you with water from a puddle. I am sorry that I do not let you and twenty of your fellow men behind you go in front of me every morning at falomo roundabout. I really should go late to work every day just because it makes your life slightly easier. In conclusion, I actually really apologize to the old man on the okada that I hit a few days ago because he backed into me while i was backing up. I really should not have shouted at him like that.

PS. Quick Question:

If you get into a relatively minor accident with an okada do you
A) stay in your car and crack a window
B) Get down and settle it.
C) Bail, even if you have to run over the bastard to do it.