If anyone saw nilla's NDS post recently, they would have read that due to a shortage of funds the NYSC would be able to mobilise only forty odd thousand graduates out of a possible pool of one twenty thousands for the batch B corpers that will resume in September. When I read this, I went on a rant about how they (the NYSC officials) knew about the shortage since February when the first Batch mobilised, and so should have drawn attention to it then and so action could be taken. Well I read an article today in Guardian about how Yar'Adua has ordered enough funds to be made available to allow all corpers to mobilise. My machiavellian sense started tingling, and I started wondering about the timing of the whole thing. I mean is it beyond the realm of possiblity that this was crafted to deliver a strong political victory to our president?

Aiight so there was this cartoon in vanguard about how a dimunitive EFCC official is leading the ex-governors with their bellies bloated with naira to a trough to vomit out their ill gotten gains. The caption is provided by one of the ex-governors who says something like "oh immunity how i long for immunity".

Relatives of local government chairmen in lagos would be pleased to know that the Federal Government has released the funds held up by the previous administration (sans accrued interest of course). Stop being quick to judge people, I'm saying they will be pleased because their relatives will now have money to pursue all the projects that they couldn't do before and so their reputations will no longer suffer.

Aiight before i go, if anyone knows the local government who is responsible for putting up the flyover on the Oshodi-Apapa express way please tell them it's getting embarassing. I mean four months to put up 1 flyover... (clearly it's cos of the federal government). Aiight I'm done

I know you are wondering why Young Snazz would have an opinion on the Reformation. Well it was an excerpt from an essay on Christianity, that i used the journal to plan. Anyway when i was flicking through the journal trying to decide which post to pick I saw it, and I thought that it was particularly apt considering the pope's recent comments about the protestant faith. If u can't be bothered to click the link, the pope basically said that members of all other denominations don't have real churches (so basically if u a'int Catholic u probably going to hell with the rest of the heathens). Needless to say the others weren't happy. Well i think the pentecostals ignored it cos I heard that they don't think the catholics have real churches either. Ooh... religious war... sounds like fun. Aiight here is the post.

Protestanism in its original form did believe in the strength of its conviction. "The Just shall live by faith" and all that. From the door of the Nurenburg church to the Diet at Worms to the German Civil War to the Inquisition they carried their conviction all the way to the stake. This is a religion that had a true do or die attitude. Their belief was that the scripture is the basis for everything in Christianity and everything else is from the devil. The funny thing is that this strong movement, like all good movements [arose ] from resistance to extortion. The pope decided to rebuild St. Peter's in Rome and as a result the poor objected. To be honest most objections stemmed from their inability to buy their way into heaven like the rich folk. The peasants were thinking dark thoughts about the eye of the needle and a camle. Martin Luther was screaming "I am the way the truth and the life no man commeth to the father but by me." The church was calmly saying "whatsoever you agree on earth will be agreed in heaven." All scriptural, so they settled it in the time honored tradition of religion - they went to war. God would be with the victor... after all he would not let his word be polluted by heretics. As all wars in the middle ages, the only people who lost were the peasants. Instead of being broke and unable to buy their way into heaven, they were dead and unable to buy their way into heaven. The rich protestants ran to England and Netherlands. Some dumb ones went to France (but aristocrats have their weak points too.) The war like all religious wars was won by the Catholic Church and their allies. They instituted the Inquisition - a greater source of revenue than simply selling indulgences to the rich (though they did that as well). The man that started it all, left the church, married a nun and translated the bible into German.

I'll admit he goes into details, showing off I reckon. But hey he was young.

Despite the title this is not a post about finance. So there is this guy who wrote a book to tell guys how to catch girls (for some reason it was a best seller).

His strategy: he told the guys that they should play hard to get.

So one of the finance guys that I read said that the strategy has to be crap because there is no separating equilibrium. A separating equilibrium is like in book sales where u release an expensive hard cover for the really good fans, and a cheaper paperback for those who kinda fans and can wait.

In this case because anybody can imitate this strategy there is no way to separate the hard cover guys and the paperback guys, there can be no separating equilibrium and the strategy will not work

So I started thinking, what do girls use as their fail safe method to separate the hardcover guys from the paperback guys? Anyone of my female readers want to share some trade secrets should holla. C’mon ladies, how do you create a separating equilibrium?

Laters

Take something I read today in one of my favorite finance blogs marginal revolution:

"I don't like being lost, but I like having been lost"

This is a completely irrational statement on the face of it but I'd bet that 90% of my readers are like me and would agree with the statement above.

The original reason for this post was that another blog I read called overcoming bias talked about the rational way for regular individuals to give to charity. It involves finding the charity with the most marginal effect per dollar given and then giving all your money to them (basically you give all your money to the charity in which the money will have the most effect).

Alright granted that is the rational thing to do especially for the dollar amounts we're talking. I mean if you were thinking of giving to a motherless babies home, for hiv treatments, for malaria prevention and treatment and for polio vaccinations (to give for local examples) and you had 100K to give. As polio vaccinations probably have the highest marginal effect, you should just give all of it to polio. However if it were me I probably would split the gifts into 25K and give to each even if I knew it was irrational, and that I could do more good by giving just to polio (that's why it is irrational). Anyway what would you do?

Laters

So before seeing what to my mind was the best movie of the summer (Transformers), I went down to Terra Kulture to see one of the plays on offer during the current Season of Soyinka in honor of the poet’s 75th birthday (for those living under a rock, the show was organized by laspapi). I had never heard of the play called Camwood on the Leaves, it’s an early radio play (I googled).

The play is a delight, and features some of the most memorable characters that I have seen on stage in a long time. Falstaff has some competition as my favorite comic stage character of all time. The character that’s given him a run for his money is the Reverend Erinjobi. He’s the devout Christian father of a boy that likes dancing with the masquerades and has also impregnated the daughter of a close family friend (apparently they love each other). Anyway the actor who played the reverend clearly had a lot of fun with the character. For the most part it was a brilliant performance, though I will say that some of the complexity of the character was lost by the decision to play the character strictly for laughs.

Still I think Soyinka left his best work in the play for the Reverend’s wife. I really should have the program with me as I writing this so I can give credit to these actors as I am writing, but it’s at home and I’m not. Anyway the woman who played the mother played it to perfection. In a sense there was not a lot to do other than rail at the son, husband, girlfriend, girlfriend’s parents, however she had to do it in such a way that the audience doesn’t roll their eyes when she comes on stage (you know, here comes the crazy “market woman” again.) In a sense there was a certain schizophrenia about a woman who believed that her husband is to be obeyed in all things, and that her son should be protected at all costs especially when they are at odds. It was interesting to watch her swing from one side to the other through out the play before settling.

Now the one negative about deciding to play strictly for laughs was that the character of Isola (the son) fell through the cracks. Here is a son that is persecuted by his father and ostracized by his community so much so that he finds solace living in the woods, where his only companions after his parents. The tortoise that is a source of wonder to him, he names after his mother, and the snake that is a source of hatred for him he names after his father. This was a nice piece of foreshadowing for the tragic ending of the play, but I was laughing so hard throughout the rest of the play that I did not notice it. However what I did not notice was that at the end of the play Isola had trouble distinguishing the snake from the father. He had been driven mad and I’d bet you that only people who had read or seen the play before would have known that. There is even a line at the end of the play that let’s you know this, cos when his girl is spazzing out after he shoots his dad, Isola goes “hush girl, hush… why it is only Erinjobi.” I don’t remember hearing it, but maybe others did. It would be interesting to know how many people walked out of that theatre with the realization that Isola thought he killed a snake.

Anyway apart from that little issue, I had a blast. I think I almost cried with laughter twice. I also loved the way they made ingenious use of a minimalist stage design. In one beautiful masquerade scene it turned into a bit of theatre in the round. As the new theatre series goes forward every Sunday, it would be interesting to see the types of plays they put on in that setting.

Aiight I’m gonna bounce but before I do I just want to urge all of you in lagos to go see the last performances in the Season of Soyinka: The Jero Plays. Laters.

I have been AWOL this week cos after I get back from roasting in the hot sun from the corper week activities I can’t think clearly enough about anything to form a coherent blog. I’ll try and do a proper blog about the experience after it’s digested a little, but I think I’m just about NYSC’d out. Anyway I was roused out of my stupor by a story that is getting play in the Nigerian papers. Apparently the Blue Star group (Otedola, Dangote and Transcorp) has had enough of all the whining and bitching over the sale of the refineries and has decided to hand them back.

Fed up with being the bad guy, they have allegedly decided that NNPC should run the facilities for the next 12 months to see if they are able to make anything of it. This is how the Guardian reports it

“He (Consortium source) said that the consortium had given the NNPC the next 12 months to operate the two plants efficiently without funding from the federal government. Secondly the consortium challenged the NNPC to end queues from fuel stations within the period.”

Basically they got tired of all the harping and just gave all the complainers the finger. Oh and they also asked for their money back. So what happens now? NNPC surprises everyone and manages to turn the refineries around (Now pause for hysterical laughter). Seriously though, if this so called return to sender holds up what’s going to happen is that we will continue to not get a drop of premium motor spirit (petrol) or any other refined petroleum product. Also after a year the price will drop due to further depreciation of the fixed assets, so if they are mad about the price now, let them wait a year.

This is typical criticize with no solution syndrome that has been going around in naij for aeons. Here is the thing, I bash the consortium because all they do for making 10 times their money back on their investment is source a technical partner that will carry out the operations and maintenance (O&M) work – basically run the refineries (any working capital that they put it would have been paid more than in full by the IPO). These guys (with as much financial sense as God gave a lemming) are bashing it because they think the price the consortium paid is too cheap, which is retarded if u think about it. It’s like I pay $500 for a Betamax and then I complain that nobody wants to buy it for more than $20. Anyway we’ll see how it pans out. Though this is looking to me like a case of “Be careful what you wish for”

I know you are as stunned as I am to see a Sunday post on this blog, but hey where is the fun in being predictable. Anyway I was moved to blogging by the height of incompetence that was evidenced by the lack of execution of the current This Day Music Festival (this is technically not libel because they reported the postponement of yesterday’s concert in their Sunday paper)

Anyway at like 1 pm yesterday I was talking to a group of people about the This Day music festival. My comments were generally related to the madness that was going to be Ozumba Mbadiwe (it was already gridlocked when I stretched my neck over Falomo bridge at 11 am to look down on the road). During that conversation I was informed that apparently, and allegedly (remember being sued for libel is no fun) there had not been a sound check performed, neither had the floor of the tent been laid (after all you don’t pay between 10k – 50k to walk on sand). As my enlightened readers know you cannot have a sound check until you have a floor. So after expressing some curiosity as to how the event was going to transpire with these major hang ups I promptly forgot about it, after all it was the concern of those who had paid to go.

So after a very good church service that ended about 12:30 pm I’m talking to one of my friends on my way home. It turned out that she was at the This Day Festival waiting for the event to start and nothing seemed to be happening (she was the one that first informed me about the cancellation). So after the standard, “that sucks, hope it works out for the best, at least u going to two shows for the price of one, holla when the show is over” type of conversation I started thinking about the This Day festival again.

Despite all the talk of alleged Bayelsa poverty alleviation funds diversion, alleged rampant skimming by some of the organizers, and alleged lackluster performances by some of the artists, the general verdict was that the first one was a success (allegedly by Hollywood accounting standards).

The organizers could be suffering from a very acute case of sophomore slump (where the success of the first outing breeds overconfidence when approaching the second outing which leads to a poor performance). The problem in Naij is that when you don’t bring you’re A game every time train wrecks tend to be the consequence. I hope the organizers learn this, and so hopefully this one will not all end in tears and the next one will be better (think about Vol 1. interspersed between the classics Reasonable Doubt and Hard Knock Life). Aiight I’m done. Laters.

When I’m in one of my more pompous moods, I tend to tell people that I am unbiased; that if I think/act a certain way in scenario A or with person A, I’ll think/act the exact same way in scenario B or with person B. This is obviously a load of crap cos no one is actually unbiased (I actually think there is a name for the bias that makes one think that one is unbiased). Anyway since I have an ironic sense of humor, I actually find it funny when I discover instances where I have been unnecessarily biased. Here is a test case

So, one of the latest “you financial services people are unethical evil bastards” stories is focused on some thing traders have been doing for yonks. Though I suppose in these “making money through financial services is evil” times, it is understandable that it is getting more play these days. Anyhow this is how it works, you tell a trader that you want to sell your shares at $60, he sells them at $61 but keeps the $1 extra. Now the first time I heard this story, I was like what’s the problem. He got you the price you wanted, why are you complaining?

Now flash backwards a few weeks, I was talking to one of my friends and he was telling me about this deal he was working on. The person he was selling for told him that he wanted 30. Now after this guy did some prelim stuff, he discovered that the asking price was 40. So once he told me that he was planning on keeping the difference I lit into him. I basically said that it was fraud. That the good belongs to the seller, and so whatever price you can get for the good belongs to the seller. Now if the seller decides to give you a bonus because you got a better price, or you agree on an additional fee based on a better price that is a completely different thing. It turned out that if I had listened a bit more, I would have realized that that was what he meant but that is a completely different issue.

Anyway for those of you who dozed off: I was willing to accept an activity as fine when it was the standard practice for my industry, but totally denounce it when it was in another setting. That my dear readers is the text book example of bias.

In closing I have included a link to Wikipedia’s list of cognitive biases. Take a look and see if you recognize any of them in yourself or in other people. Would it be biased to assume that you will find more in other people than u do in yourself? Hey, it's just a question. Anyway... Laters.

This post is for the young lady who calls herself the second, or for some reason LS, because she asked. I also owe Uzo a post on the wonder that is die hard, but i'm still working on that one. Anyway this is Young Snazz pontification from his lofty position as a senior on the goings on at a sorority bid night (induction party for new sisters).

Last night was the first bid night of the year and in the immortal words of the Phi Psi "it's your chance to sling some goo" That's bid night in a nutshell; a bunch of guys who don't step out of their college dorms for most of the year step out ferverently believing that they could hook up with some drunk sorority chick. It's really interesting watching it.

Don't get me wrong there are hook ups that happen at bid night but they are generally with guys they are hooking up with or wanted to hook up with and didn't get around to it. This leaves the majority of guys standing and trying to look busy. It's a really funny thing most of the time. The only time it's not funny is when it is happening to you. It hasn't happened in a very long time thank God.

It happened my first bid night. The blizzard night my freshman year. I knew people but I was so bitched out at the snow. First time I'd really seen it so I bitched about it all night and got really wasted. It was a great night looking back but the walking home in a blizzard was definitely to be missed. But hey one can't have everything. What I had was an experience that needed me to pass out as gracefully as possible. But as I said there are a lot of hook ups at bid night and though I was one of those guys I'm glad to say I learned and my last words of wisdom; going early to those things is vastly overated.

He was a bit too smug about his alleged exploits at sorority bid nights after his first one, but hey he was young. Laters.

So the one area in which conversion from naira to dollars really hurts is automobiles. Thanks to the wonders of the Nigerian tariff scheme cars in Nigeria retail for around twice the price that they go for in America. I’m sure there is a good reason for this other than to generate revenue for our oh-so effective government, but I cannot think of it at the moment.

Anyhow so what it means is that a fully equipped Toyota corolla in naij costs the same as an Audi A4 or a 3 series would in the states (funnily enough the mark up on a 3 series is only 50%). Though the most bizarre has to be the Nissan Armada which retails for N11 million; that car costs $40,000! (N5.2 million)

This used to be amusing fact you tell foreigner until I started considering buying a car. Now it is extremely annoying. One way to get around it is to ship the car in yourself (which brings with it a whole other set of problems). You still get hit with the tariff but at least you don’t have to pay the retailers mark up. However this only works when you have a couple of months leeway, and the money in full (though I suppose you could finance it at the 24% p.a. personal loan courtesy of a local bank)

These wonderful prices just mean that cars get awarded a higher status in naij than they would overseas. So a corolla is no longer the car you would give to your little sister, neither is the accord the car you would buy for your wife, or at least that is what we tell ourselves.

So the other thing we tell ourselves is that the resale values on cars in naij are pretty high. I mean for example one of my colleagues is thinking of selling his 4 year old corolla and prices are around 1.5 mil. My uncle who cheated and shipped his camry to naij 4 years ago can probably sell it for about 2.3 mil (about 70% of what he paid since he shipped). However I am almost positive that the tariffs are going to come down sharply in the next few years just in time for me to sell my car on a depressed market (yay!). Aiight I’m done. Laters.

P.S. For extra credit you can discuss the irony that arises from being a tariff opposer before you buy, and being a tariff supporter afterwards. :D

Aiight so i finally put down a Nigeria Discussion Series the day I said i was going to. Actually I didn't get any feedback after volunteering myself, but I am assuming that silence breeds consent and so I am posting regardless. Anyway I could not help notice the lack of volunteers for the whole NDS experiment. C'mon people in the words of the inestimable creator, nilla, Let's talk Nigeria. Granted the posts have been relatively (okay exclusively) political with the one possible exception of the Okada post, however they do not have to be. I mean you can talk about the many faces of Nkem Owoh (Osuofia for the rest of you) if you so desire, or about the rise of ankara as a fashion statement. Anything that shows that Nigeria is on your mind. Bottom line, you only have to be political if you want you. SO VOLUNTEER. I suppose if we asked Ugo nicely he could design a logo that says the NDS WANTS YOU a la the WWII recruitment posters.

So on to today's post. I was in traffic the other day and I noticed the Nasarawa license plate in front of me. I can't remember what the tag was but I remember that it struck me as descriptive (to put a diplomatic tone on it). Now my challenge to you my dear reader to provide to this blog all the tags lines for the 36 states and the FCT that appear on the license plates. The only rule is that you are not allowed to search the internet for the answers.

So if you feel inclined please leave a comment with the name of the state and the tag that shows up on its license plate. I will keep updating the post to show how many y'all have come up with. And yes there will be bragging rights.

1. Lagos - center of excellence (amme) 2. Ogun - the gateway state (uzo)

3. Delta - the big heart (Uzo) 4. Benue - the food basket of the nation (uzo)

5. Sokoto - seat of the caliphate (chxta) 6. Abia - God's own state (uzo)

7. Akwa Ibom - land of promise (uzo) 8. Ondo - the sunshine state (uzo)

9. Osun - the living spring state (Uzo) 10. Oyo - the pacesetter (uzo)

11. Kogi - the confluence state (Uzo) 12. FCT - center of unity (daddy's girl)

13. Anambra - Home for all - (daddy's girl) 14. Kano - centre of commerce (daddy's girl)

15. Bayelsa - The pride of the nation (chxta) 16. Edo - the heartbeat of the nation (chxta)

17. Enugu - coal city state (chxta) 18. Kaduna - liberal state (chxta)

19. Nasarawa - home of solid minerals (chxta) 20. Niger - power state (chxta)

21. Kwara - state of harmony (chxta) 22. Plateau - Home of peace and tourism (chxta)

23. Yobe - the young shall grow (chxta) 24. Ebonyi - salt of the nation (classy babe)

25. Cross River - the people's paradise (classy babe) 26. Rivers - the treasure base of the nation (nilla)

27. Gombe - Jewel of the savannah (daddy's girl) 28. Imo - The Heart of The East (snazzy)
29. 30.

31. 32. 33.

34. 35. 36.

37.

So after 10 hours of sleep last yesterday, I still managed to get into work twenty minutes late. Gotta love Lagos traffic (kudos, and negative cool points, to anyone who spotted the logical flaw before the brackets made u think about it)! Anyway Yardy has finally released his ministerial list, though the portfolios of the individual people were not released with the names.

The ANPP has basically told Buhari to bounce in that they will be accepted Yardy’s offer of a unity government despite the presidential candidate’s staunch refusal. Atiku also said that he will pursue his tribunal petition. However as one of my learned lawyer colleagues said, neither one will be able to prove his case in such magnitude as to overturn the results of the election. Apparently it’s something to do with the way the Electoral Act is worded (According to this guy, the court actually found that OBJ rigged in 03, however there wasn’t enough rigging to invalidate the result)

Also a group of militants (this time they don’t deserve any other name) have kidnapped a three year old girl. I am patiently waiting for the justification for this one. Maybe she chopped money. Someone needs to explain the meaning of counterproductive to this set of jokers.

During the recent flooding in Lagos, there were issues with water encroachment due to filling of illegal sand dredging operations with water. Who knows, Lekki and V/I may yet fall into the sea. There was also a global warming thing in one of the papers today saying that half of Lagos will disappear. So Amuwo Odofin is looking more and more like the real estate play of the future. Who’s coming with me?

Also one of the more irresponsible papers ran a thing taking the people’s pulse on female genital mutilation (it is an insult to call it circumcision). They featured two people and both of them thought it was a good idea. Now this is worrying in and of itself, however the paper made no attempt to say that the view that the people are holding is wrong. It just lets it stand at is. If Mary Slessor wrote for this paper, she probably would have decided that since popular opinion was for it, she did not have the right to try and stop the killing of twins.

Continuing on, today was apparently love day on Cool FM (don’t ask) and Gbemi one of the presenter type people asked about why a woman would agree to be a junior wife (I guess it is a no brainer why a guy would want one). After this amusing exercise the presenters started patting themselves on the back for being the first station in Naij to play the Ebutte Metta song. Sadly I had arrived at work and so I left my car before the Eta Eta Eta ay, came on (the song may be retarded, but it's still crazy).

And in closing… Laters

Aiight so I go see one of my cousins last night and she gives me the last five episodes of heroes. Now while I am not jola naibi, I still could not resist finishing all five episodes. So this meant I went to bet at around two. Now since I got up at 5:30 (well fine I ignored the alarm until 6:15) today was definitely not that fun. Anyway I can't think to blog and so I won't, however I will say that I still managed to be productive at work. Now my bed is screaming my name and I will answer. Laters.

P.S. I'm this tired because I normally exist on 6 hours of sleep and so any deprivation really messes me up and not because I'm a ...

All this talk about crushes reminded me about a post that I was going to write a while back. I can’t remember what I got sidetracked by though; probably work. Anyway a few months ago I saw a missed call on my phone by some number I did not recognize. So I called it back and it was from the girl that I had barely seen since primary school. Our moms were (are) friends, but we lost touch as we went to different secondary schools. We’ve talked a few times since I’ve been back and she’s fun to talk to. However she will be forever immortalized as Snazzy’s first crush or SFC for short.

So sometime in the late eighties, our house used to be a haven for kids. We had a perfectly sized garden; it was big enough to allow space to run freely, and small enough to make the games intense (think highbury.) So we thrilled ourselves with hours of “catcher” (sorry tag), “stuck in the mud”, “police and thief”, “ride-over ride-over” you know the usual games that are only fun with at least eight kids with lots of energy (it’s kind of funny looking back how we mostly all had consoles but still playing outside was the first option, so unlike today apparently)

So on to that fateful day, the game was stuck in the mud, and there were quite a number of us. The catcher was unusually active that day and so only two of us were left uncaught at that particular time. We were hiding under the slide/climbing thing after dashing madly from the catcher as she caught a bunch of us (I think my elder sister played the catcher but I don’t really remember and so will not be giving her props – though to be fair she was generally the best catcher). The catcher was coming at us and SFC broke first, I remember watching with uncustomary admiration (she was a gurl and I was about eight) as she dodged past the catcher’s outstretched and then ducked under the legs of the closest stuckee, freeing him/her from where s/he was mired in the mud. Taking courage from that brave act, I too ventured out into the midst trying to save those the catcher had caught. We played that game until sundown, and I could not help but notice her agility and her speed as she weaved through the garden. I don’t think she got caught during that session.

At sundown we moved inside, well those of us who lived there and whose mothers (and sometimes fathers) had not yet come to pick them. Going by the fact that I was roaming around, it is almost positive that my sister was showing off on Super Mario. It is to my everlasting shame that she finished it without dying before I did. Anyway I was in the sitting room when her mother came in. After the standard “good evenings”, it occurred to me that this meant that the mother being at my house meant that SFC would be leaving. At that point I didn’t think I could bear it so I blurted out, “Aunty, can SFC stay the night!” I think the feelings in my plea shocked both my aunt and my mom cos they started speculating that I came up with the idea myself (You know that thing adults do that they talk about you like you aren’t there and have no ears). I suppose that shocked me back into reality about the never ending war between the good guys and the evil gurls. So I staunchly denied it, blaming my elder sister for making me come and ask. The funny thing is that even though I remember the story so vividly, I honestly cannot remember whether she stayed or not. However I do remember how she made me feel that day, and having all the later crushes to compare it too, I can honestly label this one. I suppose it’s true, every guy does remember his first time. Laters

P.S. It turns out that I’m second cousins with a particular blogger’s mother (standard multiple wives effect). So to those genealogy experts, what does that make me and her? I’m angling for uncle (hehe) but I don’t think that’s right even though my first cousin is her uncle.

P.P.S. Since most people in the Nigerian blog community don’t read random finance blogs, they probably haven’t heard about the declining price of machetes in Nigeria due to politicians not needing to arm thugs. Anyway the two stories are here and here (the funniest comment is "Now we’re going to see long, heartfelt e-mails from Nigeria asking for money to buy machetes")

During the semester in which he had to keep a journal for an English class, Young Snazz took advantage of the loophole that allowed him to use certain assignments as journal entries. Here is one of those entries based on things you hate, based on an essay and an author that I cannot remember. Anyway enjoy, and I'll try and do something original for tomorrow.

Getting harrassed at airports because of your nationality is a hateful thing. As a Nigerian it is practically impossible to walk through in any airport. The first time I left Nigeria for school I was threatened with deportation because my passport fell into my bag and I could not retrieve it fast enough for the passport official. Isn't that hateful?

Ever notive when you are attracted to an individual and then you lose that attraction the second they open their mouth. Their voice just grates on your nerves. Isn't that hateful to lose an attraction for just that reason?

It is hateful to have gone on a binge of working, being dilligent and productive finally recieving the thrill of accomplishment and having it snatched away from you because you ignored a small piece of work. This is the one back breaker that could drive a student to murder.

What the hell are black roses? Who are those holticulturists that perversely decide to create them? I mean red roses aren't good enough for them? These I-to-knows should be taken bout and shot without a blind-fold and the offer of a cigarette.

And what is up with those oxygen deprived individuals who smoke to feel cool. I mean the addicts are okay, even the social smokers get a pass; they can blame it on alcohol. But these ne're do welss only have deficient brain capacity to account for their penchant for cigarettes.

Another bunch from the bottom of the gene pool are those newspaper callers who want you to change your subscription or get a new one. These deficients and their bosses who are obviously the scum floating on top of the gene pool should have realised that people generally don't give a rat's arse about the 2c saving that switching to their magazine would bring.

A special place in hell is obviously reserved for those precocious individuals that place perishales in refridgerators and leave them to rot. Nothing is greater than opening one's refridgerator and being subjected to the stench of mould. It's gets even better when no one claims responsibility and you have to dump it out for them. If you've read Dante or seen Max Devlin and the Devil with Bill Cosby, you would know that hell has levels and I'm hoping that these special people will devolve to the lowest level to make an acquaintance with more molds in hell.

And there are those whom God regrets putting on these earth. These titans of stupidity are those who butt into others' conversation thinking they have something special to say. May these people be stricken impotent unable to pass on their seed to a next generation of wise cracking i-to-knows that pollute the world with their presence.

And the thing I hate most of all is finding the characteristics one hates in one's self.

Granted though he started in the format of the original essay, he did get a little carried away towards the end, but as I always say he was young... Laters