It goes without saying that someone as socially liberal as I am will not be a fan of patriarchy as is practiced in Nigeria. I mean it is all well and good for some people to think that a woman's only role is to be a wife and mother, and that women are inherently lesser than men, but not the majority of the population. However I'm not taking issue with patriarchy as a whole today, cos I want to focus on a particular nefarious effect that patriarchy has on women.

There is something wrong with a society that expects a woman who makes N10 million a year to spend her money on credit and hair. Well maybe also on a cheap car that will not scare away too many suitors. After all you can't get married pushing a Range Rover Vogue.

Before you protest in indignation think about it. In Nigeria today, a man is "supposed" to provide everything for his wife, and the home. Her money is not "expected" to be used to take care of anything from the house, to the school fees, the car, the bills etc, etc. Now this is supposed to be fine when the woman is not working or is working in a job that pays like a hobby. eg. teaching or law; kinda kidding about the last one ;) However when the woman is making serious money, what exactly is she supposed to do with it. I mean its not like she can contribute to the wellbeing of her family, after all what kind of man would that make her husband?

Now it is my belief that a lot of people are quietly ignoring this tenet of life in Nigeria and living two income lives, while maintaining the status quo of the one man army. Which is fine in one sense, but it also contributes to a lot of people thinking that this is the way to live your life.

This is an issue cos money talks. When it is the man's money, it is ultimately his decision. The women will have an input, and sometimes even final say, however that is because the guy allows her. However the fear seems to be this - if you need her cash then you are not listening to her because you want "peace in your house", you are listening to her cos you have no choice.

Judging by the jokes I've heard them make, women seem to like this state of affairs because it frees them from all responsibilty. Think about it, your money is literally yours to do with as you like. I mean if you want to give half your upfront to the church more power to your bad religious self, if you want that tenth pair of tiffany amber jeans,kini big deal, if you want those gucci/louis/prada worreva, don't hate the playa.

The closest thing I can think of, to this description of a woman in Nigeria is a teenager with an after school job. Which nicely highlights my problem with this state of affairs. It infantalizes women. Being concerned about rent/mortgage, school fees, diesel is not fun and most of us would like someone to magically come and make all of this go away, however meeting these responsibilities is the sign of being an adult.

You can argue that women can find men who don't think like this, however as I have discovered recently almost all Nigerian men have this belief nestled somewhere in their subconsious. That is what socialisation is. We need to get our heads around the fact that we should encourage women who earn money to contribute instead of telling them to be humble and submit (it seems any woman that makes money is in immediate danger of being proud).

Some women want to be teenagers, and that's fine, however a lot of the women in Nigeria would like adulthood just fine if they were allowed to try it and society is making it damn hard for them to be adults. From "father's house to husband's house" to "hair and credit" and all the other random things that come with being female in Nigeria, it seems that a woman just can't catch a break.

Once again I return to these pages after a week's absence hoping that my ever patient readers will also return to discover a few choice morsels of wisdom scattered amongst the dreck that accounts for most of my writing. Hoping that this is enough self-flagellation to convince even the most jaded of patient readers of my contrition, I will now begin discussion of today's topic.

Now for most of you that live in Lagos, it is old news that the latest tanker driver's strike has been called off. For those of you that do not live in Lagos, I am sure that you are wondering why all Lagosians have such a fascination with the daily lives of the tanker drivers. It is all so simple really, due to the inability of our beloved country to keep our pipelines in working order almost all petroleum products must be transported by road using said tanker drivers. This gives the tanker drivers an almost godlike power, as their mere rumor of a decision by said drivers to stop "lifting fuel" sends Lagos into an orgy of petrol queues and jerry cans.

Now the tanker drivers feel that their signature importance means that they are immune to such things as parking restrictions or maintenance standards. As Lagosians we must endure the congestion and deterioration of our roads and the ever present threat of explosions, just for the tanker drivers to feel secure in their importance. Every attempt to free us from their tyranny results in the fuel scarcity that we all know and love. Fortunately, the tanker drivers display an uncanny inability to plan for a rainy day which means that their strikes normally last no longer than three - four days. However in that strike period, the government has normally capitulated to some degree or another, always leaving the tanker drivers secure of their superior status in the general scheme of things.

So it was with great joy, tempered of of course by the knowledge that there will be no fuel, that the Lagos State government said that they were refusing to give into the tanker drivers. Yours truly took them at their word, even temporarily relocating to the island to spare myself the black market blues for at least a week. However the Federal Government did not possess the same testicular fortitude as the Lagos Government, and as at yesterday anteed up the fine for the tanker drivers latest indescretion thus ending the strike.

So ended the fuel scarcity saga until the next time that some tanker driver decides that the rules of the road do not apply to him, and the whole cycle begins again. However I must also mention that the delay of the Federal Government in paying the N150 billion in subsidies owed to the fuel marketers, the truly indescribably congestion of the Lagos Ports, and the uncertainty about the planned deregluation might actually begin another round of fuel scarcity before the tanker drivers can get around to it. Unless of course we have a perfect storm of all four at once...

And on that note... Laters

As a young moderate with appropriate liberal social mores, and conservative financial inclinations, I was the poster child for the globally accepted mainstream view on development. The basic premise was that countries need to plug themselves into the global trade machine, and constantly upgrade their place in this machine. This was the way to get to prosperity and all what not.

We scoffed at the demonstrators at all the WTO meetings, asking them why they were anti globalization. After all did they want the countries to be poor forever? To our mind, China was the model to follow and "Development At Any Cost" was the rallying cry. Don't get me wrong; we tsked disapprovingly at the tales of environmental degradation and human rights abuses, as we fought against establishment of global environmental and labor standards. After all sometimes sacrifices must be made to achieve development.

Think about it: if you raised the labor and environmental standards, all that investment will go to countries with lax standards. Since governments and aid are the only other sources of capital and both of them are about as useful as binoculars to Bach, you will be consigning these poor nations to eternal poverty.

Flash forward a few years, and I no longer believe that "Development At Any Cost" is the way forward. For reasons that do not bear rehashing, Nigeria is still at the beginning stages of its journey towards development. We are currently faced with a choice. Do we go the way of China and Dubai and do any and all things to increase our economic growth? Or do we try to go down the path of sustainable growth?

Some people would scoff and say that Nigeria has already made that choice; that sustainable development is not what we do. I would say that we simply haven't done enough for the decision to have been made. Granted our adventures in the Delta, and the general reaction to them do not fill me with confidence. However more people are at least paying lip-service to the notion of sustainable development, so the need to practice what we preach may force our hand somewhat.

In closing, you are not going to develop any country including Nigeria with no impact on the people and the environment and I am not saying that we should try. What I am saying is that not taking it into account is like playing russian roulette; if you play long enough it will eventually end with brains everywhere. Check out this depressing story about Dubai if you doubt me (long read but well worth it).

So it seems that it has been a minute since I have dropped some knowledge on this blog. Was going to do a Young Snazzy piece on the first of April only to discover that I had lost my journal from college. Tres annoying. Work was sufficiently distracting to keep me away for a week, but I have managed to claw my way back from the thickets of deadlines and obligations to bring you some extra read all about i blogtastic goodness.

This post is basically a follow up to my last piece on infidelity, where I outlined how most of the conversations about these things generally go in my office. However listening to today's iteration of the topic, I realised that I left a particulary significant talking point out. So I have decided to remedy this lack, and discuss it here.

Basically the other leg of the infidelity debate is on what it takes to stay faithful. Most people in my office think that only God can keep a man faithful. The argument is that if there is no moral authority underpinning to your decision to stay faithful you are likely to stray. This argument is easy to agree with and easier to disagree with. It is not saying that people who believe in God don's cheat, but that they have an added check on their cheating that non-believers don't have.

Now i think it is possible that I have heard all the arguments for both sides that anyone can make. I think I have even taken both sides of this argument in one discussion :D. However I am interested in hearing your take on this. So how about it - do you think that God is a significant factor in the fidelity patterns of the Nigerian male?