The first time I heard about the major problem of the Nigerian Evidence Act I was stunned. I could not understand how such an loophole could exist in today's environment. I mean there are things in Nigeria that are archaic but this was a bit much. It was a bit like finding out that in Nigeria we approve of the use of the abacus as the supreme only counting device. I was even more stunned to discover that this descent into "Luddite-hood" was not a by-product of an earlier colonial age. The Act in question was passed in 1990/1.

By now you are either on the edge of your seat in anticipation or have clicked away in anoyance. I just want to say that for those of you who stayed, you are a credit to your gender... you are veritable stars amongst asteroids... ok fine I"ll move on.

So the major problem with the evidence act is that computer based evidence is out. This is due to the simple fact that the original is on the computer and any thing brought into court is printed and therefore inadmissible as the printed material is not original. Some clever so and sos have experimented with laptops and flash drives but I don't think that those are catching on yet.

So is your head exploding yet? It gets better. In today's world this is a license for corruption cos the law makes most banking information inadmissible as as evidence in their own right. Which means that you cannot prove that someone stole money in Nigeria solely based on things like wire transfers, account balances, things that are considered incontrovertible proof in all other locations in the world.

This very problem is why you hear Ibori's lawyer saying that EFCC has no case against his client because there is no evidence. All I can say to that is that Ibori's SAN would not be making the same argument if the the crown court prosecutor in London had this information. He is also saying that the Federal Government cannot prosecute alleged offences that happened in a State Government, but lets leave that for the moment.

I just want someone to tell me why all the lawyers in Nigeria and the judges have not made amending the act their central mission in life. I know about the impossiblity of getting things through the National Assembly, but c'mon people this is not even hard its just an amendment not a new law.

By way of hope, there is currently an Appeal Court case on the Evidence Act pending, and this means that it is likely to go to the Supreme Court unless the person ruled against runs out of money to pay his SAN. Now the hope is that it will get to the Supreme Court, which will continue its activist streak and rule once and for all that computer based evidence can be used.

I'm sure most people throughout the world have heard about the "Attack on Atlas Cove" by those strategic incompetents known as the Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta (MEND). What most people haven't heard is that the rest of Apapa was apparently spared from going up in flames by the actions of the Julius Berger fire fighting squad. While this is not a post about the actions of MEND, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what would have happened to them and unfortunately to the whole the Niger Delta if Apapa had gone up in flames. MEND should be sending the folks at Julius Berger Christmas gifts for the rest of eternity. I suppose the rest of us should as well, after all civil war is not fun for anyone.

So back to the original topic. The Fire Service like the Police Force is a Federal organisation. This means that there is one Fire Service of which those in individual states are members. While you can make arguments for keeping the Police Force central (these arguments involve politics), you can't really make any for keeping the Fire Service central.There is no political advantage to be had by keeping it Federal; I doubt the fire fighters will go around intimidating folk come election time :D.

Things like Atlas Cove, or the Ikeja bomb explosions of yesteryears, show the value of emergency response in a metropolis like Lagos. Saying it as baldly as possible, the Nigerian Fire Service would be hardpressed to stop a house fire let alone a citywide fire. Don't get me wrong, this state of affairs cannot be blamed on the fire service.

The Federal Government does not seem to care about the Fire Service, and to be honest it is not a central priority. After all the less industrialised states could care less about such. The solution is that states that care about the Fire Service should be allowed to devote the resources they feel their states need. The only way for that to happen is to devolve the Nigerian Fire Service and cede control to the states.

However I fully expect the empire builders at the center to resist such a move. Even if they were ameneable, I also don't think that an Lagos State AC government will be able to take the lead in convincing a PDP led Federal Government to devolve. A PDP industralised state will probably have to take the lead absent an actual tragic event, not a near miss like Atlas Cove, to put pressure.

Since the ideal solution is unlikely to present itself, I hope that Lagos State (and others like it) will implement the same partial solution with the Fire Service that it did with the Police Force. That is improve the equipment with which they work in State. Hopefully this will lead to a situation where Julius Beger doesn't have to be around to save the day.

There have been many different articles written about the returnee phenomenon that struck Nigeria in 2008/9 from the NY Times article which found it all very dazzling to the recent Jeremy post that didn't. Well the returnee invasion started about 2003, but lets leave that part out of it, it confuses the narrative.

Anyway one of the main drawing points for the returnee river that flowed and flowed was the concessional NYSC posting. In a nutshell, a graduate with a foreign bachelor's degree (sorry y'all masters don't count) could pretty much pick what state they wanted to serve in. Needless to say the majority of returnees (myself included) picked Lagos and Abuja.

Flashforward to the current batch of returnees who planned to begin service this rainy season, and the story has changed. With no official word about the ending of the concessional posting policy, foreign graduates are now being posted to states like... Nasarawa, Osun, Abia, and Akwa Ibom (how's that for some national spread :D)

Now I don't know about the rest of you returnees, but I know I would not have approached my NYSC Year with Buddhalie equanimity if I knew that there was a risk that I would end up in Jalingo teaching English. However I also appreciate the fact that there are few reason that will hold up to scrutiny that defend why foreign graduates are given concessional posting.

So I suppose those of us that have already dodged this bullet don't really matter. So what say you all in the diaspora? Will you return to face Okokomaiko? Are you more likely to stay in obodo oyinbo now?

P.S. To those of you with red or blue passports that say that you do not have to serve, I got news for you, you are working illegally. Unless you have an expatriate quota position or an NYSC certificate you are working illegally. Just thought you would like to know :D

I will like to draw your attention to the Next article that appeared on Sunday 19 July 2009.

Due to the vilification of the Eleganza Estate following the publication of the article, I feel moved to respond to all the critics that have resorted to the most unseemly name calling.

First of all, Eleganza Estate does not engage in racism. They offer accomodation to all expatriates of any stripe. I mean, I am sure that you can find an Arab Sheik rubbing elbows with an Indian Magnate before head to lunch with a British Petroleum Engineer. To slander this great estate with the tag of racism is unfair in the extreme, and I hope all those who did so are ashamed of themselves. Eleganza is not one of those vulgar estates that has the tag "for whites only", they fully believe in the dream of Dr. King.

Secondly Eleganza does not discriminate against Nigerians. Eleganza wanted to offer the estates to Nigerians. However all the Nigerians did not want it because they felt that it was too expensive. It was the Nigerians themselves that forced them to offer it to expatriates. Look at it now, if Eleganza did discriminate, would they have built that lovely estate next to VGC especially for Nigerians. I mean it is not Eleganza's fault that Nigerians are willing to pay N2.5 million a flat and not N3.5 million.

Thirdly, the expatriates when they come want to live like they live where they come from. Nigerians on the other hand are disgusted by such living. No Nigerian worth his salt would want to live in a place with 24 hours electricity, running water, and security. In fact I am insulted that you would even offer such a property to a Nigerian. Eleganza should be applauded for their knowledge of the national character.

Lastly, is Eleganza a private estate. How can someone tell them who they can or cannot let into their estate? Luckily Nigeria is a free country where such things do not happen. Our forefathers fought a battle to free us from colonialism, when we where second class citizens in our own country. They dreamed of a Nigeria where our people have the right to self determination. Eleganza continues that battle today, and should be applauded as a patriot that is striking a blow for the freedom of Nigeria.

Most people who have been following Nigerian news with any degree of closeness would have heard one of the various government pronouncements about our power situation. For those of you that haven't, our much maligned Federal Government has stated categorically that 6000MW of power will be available in Nigeria as at December 2009. As a point of reference on a good day (which is rare these days) Nigeria generates 3000MW. However these days we are hovering between 1000MW and 1500 MW, which is not good.

Everyone I have talked to with some semblance of knowledge about the sector has said that it is basically impossible for reasons almost squarely related to gas infrastructure (there are some transmission issues but lets leave those for now). Based on all this I actually thought that the government would issue a cop out in the following way

"We have succeeded in increasing our working capacity to 6000MW as we promised, but alas there is no gas"

However I read one of the random government pronouncers say that the government will generate, transmit and distribute 6000MW.

Now you would think that I would be cheered by such a strong statement of intent. After all the government would not want to end up with egg on its face after so many public pronouncements... The is a strong credibility issue here... the government will move heaven and earth to deliver because the consequences for failure would be massive...

You get the point.

Now dear readers that my explanation will no longer hold due to this recent overpromising, what do you suggest would be a plausible excuse if we fail to achieve the 6000MW target?

This one goes out to 36inches of okada brushing fame who recently got hitched.

In Lew Kuan Yew's book there is this bit about how in the eighties Singapore started doing commercials about the joys of marrying educated women. Apparently Singapore was like Nigeria in that they believed that housewife was the only occupation for a woman, and uneducated women were more likely to remain housewives.

The Singapore Guys were at least honest; they knew that they had to sacrifice a certain thing to get their ideal of the housewife. Based on cultural representation our Nigerian men do not want uneducated women, they want highflying superwomen that are ready to give it all up and move to the kitchen as soon as they get married.

Obviously, this caricature is not true, however people constantly act as if it is (with the attendant effect of driving me mad). Think about it, every interview with a woman of substance always has those bits where she shows she is a "real" woman by cooking for her husband and being wonderfully submissive. Though I suppose with the INS making sure that every woman knows that no matter how high she rises her husband is still the head, we shouldnt have to make them jump through the "prove your domesticity" hoop :p

Now it is clear to everyone with half a brain that certain sacrifices have to be made in a marriage especially when you throw kids in. After all you both can't be coming back at 11pm from your finance jobs with an 8 year old. Someone has to slow down, and odds are that it is going to be the woman. Which is generally fine - after all studies show that women feel more guilty than men do about leaving their kids anyway ;)

However nothing says that slowing down for someone to be around for the kids means that women automatically become glorified housewives. Even though with certain senators pushing indecent dressing maybe they should be :D

I suppose my point is that our culture makes it seem like being a housewife is the secret desire of all womankind, and any woman who desires otherwise is a defective of some kind. Who knows maybe it is, maybe all women live to be defined by what the value they bring to the lives of their husbands and their children.

I suppose if anyone will read this, someone will eventually say that I am against housewives, or that I think only uneducated women can be housewives. To those people, I say in my defense that some of my best friends are housewives ;)

Laters