About two years ago I introduced the world to the retoasting phenomenon. Well saying I introduced the world to the phenomenon is like Chris Columbus introducing the world to America. But still.

Anyway flash forward a few years, and I now want to introduce you to the younger brother of retoasting: chipping in. While I was the one who recognized the retoasting phenomenon, I can not lay claim to the same in this case. One of my friends came up with in, in reference to a guy who occasionally hit on one of her friends friends.

Now retoasting is the active pursuit of a girl after the first attempt has failed. Chipping in, is the subtle alternative. As I covered in my post on the subject, retoasting generally sparks annoyance in babes. However babes seem to be more understanding of chipping in.

Chipping in works primarily because the guy is in the friend zone. Unlike in retoasting where the guy drifts away after the first failed attempt, chipping in requires that the guy and girl remain "friends".

So the proximity allows the guy to throw in a few toasts here and there. You know like a trial balloon. The reasoning is simple, the guy thinks this: We have been hanging out, and having fun etc, maybe she likes me now, so let's find out.

The girl thinks, I've got a friend that is cool to hang out with etc, I am not attracted to him. ignoring his toasts once a month or so is a small price to pay for maintaining the friendship.

The beauty of chipping in, is that it allows the guy to have hope that she may eventually gel, and allows the girl to enjoy an attentive guy with no real pressure to do anything: after all the question has been asked and answered. It's like a win win for everybody. In fact I would argue that practically every guy that ended up in the friend zone tries to chip in from time to time. I think it's practically impossible not to.

So the question, is why are girls not annoyed by chipping in? I believe that there are two reasons.

The first one is that they know the guy, and it is really hard to be annoyed with a guy who you are friends with, who happens to occasionally attempt to hit on you. In fact girls will be hard pressed to think of male friends that do not fit that bill.

The second reason is that, chipping in, is by definition an unstable equilibrium. It eventually unravels. Either the guy will meet a new girl and will fall away, or the girl will meet a new guy and push him away. He will fall away because the new girl won't want to feel like second choice. She will push him away, because the new guy won't want somebody slobbering over his girl.

So what say you? Is chipping in really less irritating than retoasting? Is chipping in the new normal, when it comes to the friend zone?

Laters.

PS. RIP to all who may have lost their lives in today's abuja bomb blasts. Well apart from the alleged suicide bomber: you can kindly rot in hell.